At the beginning of a relationship are in love with couples on both ears, and everything seems to be beautiful. Considers the partnership longer, but more and more often problems. Most are men, the reputation of the partner over time as a matter of course. Couple therapist Sigrid sun Holzer explains what things you should do in any case, if you don’t want to lose your partner.
1. To leave the responsibility for the Success of the partnership you
There are men who are of the opinion that their mere presence and the fact that they provide for the family, made rich already, to be a good husband. Finally, you would not be cheating, and not every night go away. That’s what woman want?
That a partnership is more complex and means to adjust itself again and again,, missed you once. And if the woman asks for the unloved relationship conversation, you will be depriving yourself with the Argument that it would fit in everything. Over the years, a great deal of dissatisfaction builds up, the women often end up in a seemingly unexpected separation.
tip: to Show responsibility especially on the level of communication. You don’t solve conflicts by Silence and Sit out, but you participate actively in the clarification. Even unpleasant subjects sit, ask you, however, your partner to discuss the topic in a pre-defined time frame.
they also Show interest, if you have the Concerns and needs of your partner seem small and unimportant. You can assume that the issues you are dealing with and ignorance you emotionally away from each other.
2. The partner have emotionally learned to ignore
a Lot of men in the course of their socialisation, not to transport feelings to the outside world. In professional life, you will be expected sovereignty, and Coolness, you should keep in all layers of the Overview and be strong. It is precisely these properties, however, can be in a partnership to a large load.
When the wife tells her husband a Problem, he has to bring a proposal for a solution. This is expected in the Job from him. Women in these situations, but most do not tip, or even insult, what you could have done better, but just emotional involvement. This can be a kind word, or a protective hug.
tip: you to Separate professional and personal behavior from each other. The expectation of your wife is not identical with the expectation of your superiors. You don’t need to present a solution, but your partner feel that you understand that you are aware of your feelings and your grief can be assessed.
If you find it difficult to capture the emotions of your counterpart, then you ask your partner, what can you do to help her. A very simple question that can work miracles, is: “honey, what can I do to make you feel better?”
3. Family or friends demote
For women, the social integration of their family of origin, parents and siblings, has a very high importance. They are usually in need of harmony and have even in the case of a misconduct of a family member great understanding. While men disassociate with a similar behavior or rigorous the contact with the cancel, try women with tolerance and empathy in balance.
If the man is now the partner is under pressure, either by forbidding the visit, or he withdraws from the family firm, he builds up a great tension for the partner. The Same is true for the circle of friends. Since it can happen once, to a Party under the influence of alcohol a clumsy sentence. Here, too, the reactions of a man and a woman can be very different. The Person
Sigrid sun Holzer a consulting practice in Ottobrunn/Munich, together with her husband for 20 years. It is the Belief that every relationship is salvageable if both partners want to. The philosophy of your advice: what differences separate us, but what we all have in common? Sun Holzer is the author of several books and CDs, from the book “life, love, happiness…” and the CD “Yes we can”.
tip: If you recognize that your wife is the contact to the family and friends is very important to show tolerance. You assume that your partner appreciates the misconduct, nor that she has a Problem, mention it, or even severe consequences.
you Seek, at family gatherings on neutral and polite level, and you put your partner’s none of the unpleasant Situation in which you do not need to explain why they are present. You ask your wife to be loyal to you and understanding for their displeasure to be applied. It is ultimately not about your wife you would not understand, but that it can be hard to live with the triggered consequences.
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