Every relationship goes through ups and downs; for some there are more strokes of fate or arguments, for others there are fewer. But love alone is not enough to go through every valley together; the basis of a relationship must be stable. Do you still stick by each other, even if you are annoyed with your partner, do you see the light at the end of the tunnel, that there can be better times again? Seven signs reveal whether the relationship has a good foundation.

Despite arguments, nice gesturesYou have just had a heated argument with your partner, but on the same evening you are responsible for cooking dinner, for example. Some people would cook out of anger and intentionally only for themselves, but if you still stick to handling it as agreed, the behavior allows conclusions to be drawn about a good basis. The same applies to small gestures, like bringing the other person your favorite chocolate even though you had an argument because you would have done it even without the argument.

Individual experiences and mutual interest Some people in a relationship tend to give up on themselves and adapt completely to the other person. Hobbies, eating habits, interests and much more. What can be perceived as uncomplicated and harmonious at the beginning of a relationship usually becomes boring and boring in the long run. It is often better if everyone pursues their own interests and we can tell each other about them. The fact that the other person is naturally interested in what you have experienced is also an indication of deep affection.

Shifts in power within a partnership Financial power shifts within a relationship often occur, especially among young couples who are still in training or studying, or among parents. Suddenly the woman on parental leave only earns a fraction or a partner starts working life after training. Such a shift in financial power in the relationship can lead to conflict and imbalance. However, the same applies to emotional power shifts when one of the two has gone through a difficult time and regains new mental strength, for example. If you have already mastered such phases of life, it strengthens the basis of the relationship.

Don’t lose your laughYour partner really gets on your nerves, you’re really angry and you still have to laugh at a stupid saying. A relationship argument should never be an intentional putdown of your partner. Because arguments in and of themselves are not a negative thing in a relationship if you adhere to certain basic rules that don’t go below the belt. It is said that for one negative relationship experience such as an argument, you need five positive ones to neutralize it, so laughing helps to restore balance.

Individual growthEvery single person goes through different life phases, attitudes and development stages in their life, a partner should not stop these. Personal growth, individual interests and a certain form of freedom lead to more harmony in a partnership and contribute to a good basis.

Appreciation of the relationship rolePartnership should never include counted services, it is often not exactly 50 percent of what everyone does in a relationship or depends heavily on the current mood and life situation. So if you sit there with a tally sheet and document your partner’s minutes of vacuuming, you often end up with problems in your relationship. Rather, it is important for a good foundation to appreciate the other person’s role in the relationship and recognize the partner’s strengths.

Relationship on equal terms Almost everyone knows relationships in which one of them lets the other mother him or her or one of them is portrayed as stupid. Not a good basis for long-term happiness. Rather, a relationship at eye level is the key to success. You should perceive your partner as a competent, adult person with strengths and weaknesses.

There is no guarantee for eternal and happy love and ups and downs are normal, but if you have a good basis, you can weather one or two storms in your relationship together.

Sources:  Psychology Today, Couples Therapy Obendahl

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