Who will succeed One Euro candidate Serkan Yavuz (31) as the winner in the “Battle of the Reality Stars”? The fifth season started with a mammoth episode on Wednesday (8:15 p.m. on RTLZWEI and RTL). With a running length of almost three hours without advertising, it’s full of trash.

Ben Tewaag (47) is befittingly the first to arrive on the Thai beach. As the offspring of Uschi Glas (80) and a former MTV presenter, he is the closest thing to an old-school celebrity. He used to make negative headlines when he committed crimes against his image as a “son of”. Today he appears to have purified himself; he doesn’t drink alcohol on the show to protect himself.

Tanja Tischewitsch (34) reached the beach next. As a former participant in “Deutschland sucht den Superstar” and “I am a star – get me out of here!” (both 2014), also something like old TV nobility. She shows off her “bacon” (breasts), which are subject to the motto “look but don’t touch”.

Then growths from trash TV and social media wash up. Ben is irritated that they all know each other – and he doesn’t know any of them. The Sala senior feels like a janitor at a class reunion.

Kevin Schäfer (34) from “Prince Charming” describes himself with three letters: “TAF”. When a lighting screen falls on his head during the interview, he reacts less harshly: he bursts into tears. Otherwise, he presents himself with a straight disciplinarian attitude, sharp-tongued and strict, but with a sense of justice.

Noah Cremer (21) is celebrating his TV debut – apart from an appearance in the audience on “Judge Barbara Salesch”. As Noah Bibble, he has over a million followers on Instagram. When he gets out of the boat he falls – to generate airtime, as Kevin suspects.

Elsa Latifaj (19) comes from Vienna, but doesn’t know the national saints Falco and Schwarzenegger. For this she has earned a reputation as a “ghetto bride” on “Germany’s Next Top Model” and especially on “Forsthaus Rampensau”. She sees herself more as a “boss bitch”.

Keno Veith (42) doesn’t sail in the boat, he plows through the sand with a tractor. He once went viral with a video in which he got stuck in the mud with such a vehicle, and since then he has been appearing on the channels as a “chatty East Frisian boy”. Tanja mistakes him for “A-Team” legend Mr. T, who Elsa probably doesn’t know either.

Theresia Fischer (32) stalks like an alien insect on the catwalk from boat to beach. The former “GNTM” participant had her legs lengthened. With high heels she is now 1.99 meters tall.

Valencia Stöhr is probably the first candidate to give a tip to the boatmen who take her to the beach. The ex of the former jungle camp third Florian Wess (43) has contractually assured that her true age will not be mentioned. Kevin thinks that’s silly and outs her as 41. Which, according to Google, isn’t true. By the way, Valencia refers to herself as Kevin’s “sister” and the old acquaintances use affectionate nicknames (“slut”).

The last person to arrive on the first day is Maurice Dziwak (25), who apparently didn’t embarrass himself enough in the “summer house of the stars” last year. The self-proclaimed lion is the first “KdF” candidate ever to suffer shipwreck on a boat. He survives unhurt, only his suitcase is soaked. His attempt to get compensation fails. He simply has to let his clothes dry.

The first evening ends harmoniously. The candidates are allowed to choose one of their number who will get an “extra hustle”. The choice falls on Keno. The Frisian boy is therefore protected from being kicked out in the first broadcast. To do this, he has to carry an oversized stuffed stuffed sausage around with him all day.

The next morning two more reality stars arrive. Cecilia Asoro (28), who has already met Maurice in various shows. Their relationship is strained, but relatively intact.

Finally, Calvin Kleinen (32) is another celebrity who has truly earned the attribute of reality legend through various alcohol-fueled appearances. But the Calvin Klein label doesn’t belong to him, as Elsa believes. At least she knows a well-known name.

The first game is about ensuring comfort in the sala. Viewer opinions about the stars must be correctly assigned. For example, who of them has the least substance according to the audience. This almost fails because many people don’t know what the word “substance” means. But the paraphrase “who is the biggest laughing stock” helps them. They agree on the lion Maurice, in whom, as in “Summer House”, also in “Battle of the Reality Stars”, the perception of self and others drifts apart in the most wonderful way.

The candidates fail in the task and as punishment they are only allowed to go to the toilet in a pack. A group must be at least 155 years old, otherwise none of them will be allowed into the cabin. At least there is some privacy there. Theresia still lets her fellow kloggoers loudly hear what’s going on with her on the bowl. Or what not. The toilet gag soon wears off, but the director still dwells on it for what feels like half an hour.

The notorious “Wall of Truth” brings more life back into the place. The stars have to arrange themselves according to the prominence given by the audience. Most of the participants rank modestly in the back seats. All Maurice cares about is finishing ahead of Cecilia – and vice versa. In the end, Maurice actually lies before his love-hate relationship. Stars like TV audience celebrity son Ben are at the top. Valentina ends up at the back. As a consolation, she is given a commercial to increase her popularity.

The first confrontations occur at the “Wall of Truth”. Kevin reprimands Maurice, Cecilia makes herself unpopular with everyone, especially Elsa, who unleashes her inner boss bitch for the first time.

Luckily there is an outlet in the safety game called “Müll-O-Ton-ne”. The stars play in teams of two. One teammate each has to fish a quote out of a bin, learn it by heart and pass it on to their colleague. It has to reproduce the original sound correctly. The celebrities fail on a grand scale, Elsa doesn’t know the name Nietzsche. Ben and Kevin do the best. The latter lives up to his IQ, which he states is just above average at 111. Two correct original tones are enough for victory.

Like Keno, Ben and Kevin are safe on the night of the decision with Cathy Hummels (36). This season she is presenting in a completely different style. After appearing in the role of a cool and strict goddess of fate in the last few seasons, this time she chats lively and affectionately with the candidates.

She asks Kevin who has bothered him the most in the Sala so far. He mentions his old friend Valencia Stöhr without hesitation. Pun not intended. Valencia is shocked. As newcomers, Calvin and Cecilia have the right and duty to throw out a star. They choose Noah, who remained pale in the first episode. A short first foray into good old television for the TikToker.