Ever since I had someone with Asperger’s Syndrome in my close circle of friends (today it’s usually just called autism spectrum disorder), I’ve had the ambition to better understand their thoughts. Because I think it’s important to be open to people in your own environment and beyond, not biased, and thus to expand your own spectrum and field of vision. Because I think that working together can only ever be helpful. And because this person often impresses me with their thought processes and I have rarely had conversations that have made me think as much as the ones I have with this person.
But finding reading that helps you understand neurodiverse thinking a little better is not that easy. Actually, I was after the book 22 Things A Woman Needs To Know About Loving A Man With Asperger’s Syndrome. Because this book has received the best ratings on the Internet, it should be entertaining and well-founded at the same time – even for people who are not in a relationship with a person with Asperger’s Syndrome. But: Getting this book has turned out to be almost impossible or rather expensive. Then I came across the book “The ‘Different’ Belongs to Me” by Veronique Kouchev and found it even more appropriate to get a first, better impression. Without the topic being treated too seriously or therapeutically. But very suitable for everyday use.
And my suspicion has come true: while reading the book, some situations seemed familiar to me and the author confirmed that some behaviors are not intentionally meant to be hurtful – which is very helpful in understanding, so as not to develop a negative attitude directly or things personal to get in touch with people who are neurodiverse. Reading the author’s point of view for yourself, delving into the world of thought and experiencing how people react to her was exciting but also frightening at the same time. Because just as she sometimes unintentionally offends people, the people around her who are neurotypical do the same to her.
This creates conflicts that could have been avoided if people had a little more understanding for each other. Because not only those affected should learn to read others – which is the basic problem of people with Asperger’s. Even neurotypical people should learn to gain insight into the thoughts and feelings of people who think and feel differently. Because they enrich everyday life and should be treated with respect and not derogatory.
The problems that neurodiverse people, especially those with Asperger’s autism, can encounter – be it at school, at work or in friendships or relationships – are made clear in this book in a wonderfully authentic way. And it’s something for everyone: Since about two percent of all people have Asperger’s syndrome and even more people are neurodiverse, it makes sense for a more harmonious coexistence to empathize with them a little more and be less negative. And so this book is important for many and can certainly be eye-opening for one or the other: n.
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