So-called red flags often play a major role in relationship guides, i.e. characteristics or behavior of the (potential) partner from which one should flee as quickly as possible. This is important because sometimes you overlook these sides of a person when you’re blinded by their appearance or your own feelings, or you’re unaware of the longer-term effects.
But it is just as important – or even more important – to pay attention to green flags – the US therapist Jeff Guenther from Portland is convinced of this. He encourages you to consciously look for qualities that indicate that you may actually be the right person. After all, dating is about ultimately making a decision for someone – and not just about throwing all candidates to the wind because of their supposed weaknesses.
Guenther therefore listed five so-called “Green Flags” in a video on his TikTok channel. Characteristics that are a very good sign in a relationship and give reason to hope that something long-term could develop from it and that it is worth investing in.
For example, says Guenther, it is positive when partners begin to adapt their behavior to one another. For example, using the same words or adopting the habits of others. That is not only “sweet”, but also a good sign from a psychological point of view.
The same goes for couples who don’t get bored in each other’s presence, even when they’re not doing anything exciting. Anyone who can sit on the sofa together and be silent has reached an important stage in the relationship, says Guenther: “It’s a green flag if you don’t get bored and simply enjoy each other’s company.”
A third positive trait: The other person brings things that you didn’t even ask for – simply because the other person knows the preferences or has observed and listened well. So when the date at the next meeting has bought exactly those snacks that you raved about a few weeks ago: put a tick on the checklist in your head.
Point four is one of Guenther’s personal favourites: “You can playfully tease each other with an argument from yesterday.” Conflict is part of every relationship. But if you can laugh about it together the next day, it shows that neither of you holds grudges – and self-mockery is always a good trait anyway. Disputes can even help the relationship grow stronger.
Finally, fifthly, it is a good sign if you simply feel safe in the presence of the other person. “When your partner acts as an anchor and gives you stability just by existing, that creates a real sense of trust and security,” says therapist Guenther.
Source: Jeff Guenther on TikTok
