Each year, about 160,000 children are affected by the fact that their parents are splitting up. A medium-sized city. Happy children in a divorce, there is not. But there are children and young people, which can be after the separation of their parents happy again.
Why suffer the children and young people under the separation?
All the children as social beings to the world. Shortly after her birth, they seek contact to us as parents, start with simple Gestures, later with the first words. From such a “resonance relationship” between children and their parents a strong bond. This binding need children, because they come unfinished on the world and are still in need of a long time to your most important reference persons.
read more:
- brain researchers: This is the secret of a happy Childhood
- childhood researchers Michael a Keeper over the end of the family
- foreign service: How small children suffer from it
The younger children are, the more you feel threatened, your loyalty to the parents when they separate. Younger children will have great fears of loss are almost always: “Are you still there, when I need you?” “If one goes, then maybe the other one?”
Older children and young people often think: “Am I still worth something?” Faint, you have to watch as their parents have separated. Parents have you insured, yet again, how much you love your children.
Other children to blame themselves for the separation of their parents. Not an easy Situation!
looking to the future instead of feelings of guilt
We all want our children to be harmed, that you are well. If you can fall into the water and not swim, jump in we you. We Worry, when you go the first Time alone to school, and later, if you are as a Teenager, at one o’clock at night, still not home.
If parents decide to separate, make a decision that hurts their children. Of course, there are good reasons to separate, but, nevertheless, many parents feel guilty when their children suffer. Others do not want to, in turn, have true that your children feel unhappy and trivialize the process.
guilt and Trivialize are not good counselors. It is much more important now to continue to work together for the children and to look to the future. private
psychologist Claus Koch has been dedicated for years to the subject, such as separation, children are happy again.
With protective factors. child happy again
are there many scientific studies that show that most of the children after six months to a year with the separation of their parents, very well done And later, as adults, hardly any of those who are raised in traditional families are different.
However, certain requirements are necessary, “protective factors”, as I call them. So the Little ones can also feel the separation of their parents continue to be safe and secure, they need our unconditional love – even when you are sad, if your school slacking services or sometimes your anger out on us, skip. Likewise, you need reliability, that someone is there when you get home or you feel unwell.
read more: “He calls you mom”: I’m afraid my son to lose to the New
Especially, you need parents – and since all of the separation, researchers agree that are still together that is right for you. This requires their parents to be able to distinguish between the pair level and the parents level: We are no longer a Couple, but as both a responsibility to our children. Psychologists call this Coparenting.
How do children and adolescents with the separation of their parents? How will you, in spite of the change again to be happy? Claus Koch is a psychologist, and has dealt in his research with such issues. His answers he gives on 240 pages in his book, “split children”. The book is available on Amazon as a hardcover for 18 Euro, and as a Kindle Version for 13,99 Euro.
(display), “Why Swedish parents have a good mood and Ethiopian children helpful are: The 99 best parenting tips from around the world” by Nathalie Weidenfeld order here at Amazon
going to court
What children need at all, are conflicts of Loyalty, in which your parents rush you, if they make “the other” or “the other” in front of you is bad. If your a parent, you have you ask for it, who better, mom or dad. It hurts them, because they do not want to decide for or against a parent. Loyalty conflicts for children and young people under constant stress, and then gradually lose their orientation.
this is Why you should go, if at all possible, dishes out of the way. Children want to keep both parents, even if they have separated. It is possible to be parents together for your children, you can be proud of. Then also your “separation children can be” happy again. More Info about divorce & family law Details to family law Anwalt.de The Person
Dr. Claus Koch is a writer, journalist, author (“split children”) and psychologist with a focus on developmental psychology of the child and young people under the psychoanalytic and attachment theory point of view. Together with Dr. Udo Baer, he founded in 2015, the Pedagogical Institute in Berlin, prior to that, he was publishing Director for the sphere non-fiction book and a parents guide to the Beltz Verlag, Weinheim.
Also interesting: the Blatant confusion in the case of artificial insemination: a woman alien Baby from PCP Also contributes interesting: Blatant confusion in the case of artificial insemination: a woman wearing a strange Baby from
