On the first birthday after Hollywood star Bruce Willis was diagnosed with dementia, his wife Emma Heming-Willis shared her emotions with his fans. “I started the morning crying,” said the 44-year-old, who has two daughters with 68-year-old Willis, in a video on Instagram.

People often praise her for her strength, when in reality she simply has no choice but to keep pulling herself together, the model said. “I have moments of sadness, sadness every day, and I feel it especially today on his birthday.”

Heming-Willis also shared a video of the actor’s special moments with his family for her husband’s birthday on March 19. “I will always love him,” she wrote, asking Willis’ fans to keep praying for him.

After action star Willis was diagnosed with aphasia about a year ago, which affects his cognitive abilities, his family announced the more precise diagnosis of dementia last month. Willis’ ex-wife Demi Moore also congratulated the actor with a video showing him blowing out candles with his family.