Former England soccer player David Beckham (48) says he experienced a depressive episode after the 1998 World Cup. “I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I lived from one day to the next and thought about what would come next,” Beckham told the British newspaper Telegraph.

Beckham received a red card in the round of 16 match against Argentina and had to watch from the sidelines as England were eliminated from the tournament on penalties. The failure was largely blamed on him and he was sometimes met with severe hostility. “People demanded that I leave the country, it was violent,” said the ex-professional footballer, about whom a documentary will be released on the streaming service Netflix next week (October 4th).

Beckham told the Telegraph that he did not seek therapeutic help, although that would have been a good thing. In the environment in which he grew up in London’s East End, there was no understanding for such things. “So I kept my head down and worked even harder,” said Beckham.