Episode three in the new season of “Bauer sucht Frau” (Monday, 8:15 p.m. on RTL and on RTL) – and it’s an ice age in farmer Siegfried’s (64) harem. At least between his two ladies-in-waiting Patricia (53) and Simone (55). Siegfried climbs into the refrigerator-cold cellar with Patricia. There they get the ingredients for their first breakfast together – while Simone is apparently still in bed. Patricia wants Siegfried to “learn to love” her – by giving him a sandwich…

When Simone arrives, she is outraged and shows blatant jealousy. To appease her, Siegfried also takes her to the ice cellar. Patricia now responds to this with jealousy, even though she has already had the same solo pleasure.

Patricia’s concerns are justified. Without warning, Simone plants a kiss on Siegfried’s face, half on the cheek, half on the mouth. “He was embarrassed,” Simone later assessed the situation. This applies not only to Siegfried, but also to the audience. Classic case of “too soon”.

But what should you do: Simone is already “a little in love” with Siegfried. She sees herself as having an advantage over her rival because she looks better and can tackle things better. Patricia sees it the other way around. She doesn’t believe that “doll” Simone can “take off the mountains”.

In the evening, Siegfried stirs up the rivalry by offering both women – not entirely seriously – to rub his stomach and back together. You can’t help it: the sequences from Siegfried’s farm always seem a bit like vintage porn from which someone cut out the sex scenes.

Things are more harmonious for the farmers who have only invited one woman to the farm week. Hans (65) finds the similarities with his Elke (62) “uncanny”. Even if it’s just that they both like tea for breakfast.

With organic farmer Christoph (28) and his Lisa, there is less culinary harmony. He is (almost) a full-time vegan, she likes to eat meat. She likes it spicy, he likes it mild. But with a vegetarian pan they come together – sitting cross-legged because, according to Christoph, that’s healthier. Lisa thinks it’s good because her body is a “temple”. Christoph notices that she “doesn’t smack her lips” and eats with her mouth closed.

Things are also going well for Stephan (31) and Laura (26). With them, his reserve is complemented by their constant laughter. She is even allowed to drive a tractor, which she does brilliantly and full of cheerful snorts.

Like Stephan’s Laura, Lucas (26) is constantly in a good mood. But his permanent grin is shattered by the “poker face” of his farmer’s wife Carolin (27). Even when “romantic shoveling shit” (Lucas) there is no flirtatious mood. She describes herself as a “strict teacher” and he calls her “rough.” The 27-year-old, who has been single for 27 years, doesn’t want to change her “strong character” (self-described) behavior.

Because he is “emotionally hanging in the air,” Lucas tries to talk to Carolin. Both agree that there was no “tingling” on either side. They decide “not to bother” with the experiment (Carolin). The first court week of the season ends prematurely. But they decide to remain “good friends”.