There are books that take us on imaginative journeys; who entertain others who help solve problems; that promote personality development (as already presented in the first and second part of the series); who expand knowledge; or open your eyes. The third part of the series is about the latter. More precisely: the book “The beauty of difference: Thinking differently together” by Hadija Haruna-Oelker.
And what the title promises becomes clear, plausible, well-founded, comprehensive, stringent and personal, but nevertheless professionally pursued: while reading, the journalist, political scientist and moderator brings to mind with her words, stories, explanations and evidence Place to rethink. We should always question the definition of “normal” – Haruna-Oelker makes it clear why it has a lot to do with ourselves and the experience of our own, mostly very limited and often privileged reality. And why is that so problematic? Because we are often part of how such definitions come about and should, before we come to a supposedly generally valid attitude, broaden our view and look at people and areas that we may not encounter that often in everyday life. Away from ignorance or laziness.
The author makes it clear how important it is never to close oneself off or to stop thinking, but to always be open and to rethink oneself, definitions and routines. At no time does she appear lecturing or confrontationally know-it-all. On the contrary: rather accompanying and helpful enlightening. She sensitively takes the reader by the hand and motivates exactly what makes sense for our society: an enriching cooperation based on listening, understanding, openness and honest curiosity. Not defensive, stubborn or confrontational. When it comes to topics like racism, intersectionality and discrimination, it is so important to delve deeper and establish points of contact. The author tries to build this bridge with her book in a sensitive but plausible way.
And she does so by combining personal experience with knowledge and logic: as a black journalist in Germany, she describes how she experiences situations and takes her into worlds of thought that many of us certainly do not know. But it is precisely this exchange that helps to expand one’s own reality and to understand other perspectives in order to be able to live better together as a whole.
For example, she respectfully explains how marginalized people who have been hurt (intentionally or not) feel. In an unconventional, understandable and goal-oriented way. She finds wonderfully appreciative words for a successful cooperation and asks meaningful questions to which she tries to find answers. Problems with topics such as feminism, sexuality, gender or living with disabilities are explained and illustrated in a way that is understandable. Haruna-Oelker manages to ensure understanding and an aha effect on topics that often evoke a defensive attitude among (white) people who have nothing to do with them, and to feel closer to each other. As she writes herself: “Change begins in thinking, which for me means looking for our equality in another dimension. (…) To get there, it takes a lot of effort and strength. To do this, ‘we’ all have to first get to know, understand and talk to each other better without hurting each other.”
I can by no means convey the content in the way Hadija Haruna-Oelker can. You should really read her book for that. Then you will understand what I mean. All I can do is encourage them to do just that. And to be open, to learn, to understand and to develop together. I nodded my head in agreement so many times while reading, reflecting on myself and the people the book is about. I felt closer to them and, after reading it, I got the feeling that the path that the author wants to advance with her book makes more sense. The right one. Differences should not divide. You should enrich. You should ensure that you are curious to discover other perspectives and grow from them yourself. You just have to be open to recognizing and understanding it.
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