The jungle of dating apps is large and someone who is looking for a suitable counterpart usually struggles with several of these portals at the same time. During the day, there is one message after the other that needs to be answered. “But who did I actually tell what and who was it again?” are just some of the problems you have as a single.
After spending some time in the dating jungle, you may be on the verge of dating burnout. There are several signs of this and the more of them there are, the more likely it is that a break should be considered.
Unemotional answers, disinterest and being annoyed When you look at the messages on the display and scroll through the messages in the dating app, you only think one thing: “Phew, I still have to answer that”. This is often followed by: “I’ll do that later”. As in school, you put off answering messages and feel it is more of a burden that you still have to answer all of them. When you’ve finally made up your mind to do so, you usually answer briefly and concisely, superficially and no longer have the strength to work your way back into the message history. A brief: “I’m fine, you too? How was your day?” and already my target for the day has been fulfilled. Hopefully. Only really getting to know another person becomes difficult if not impossible in this way.
Always the same processAfter dating for a while, you know it’s always the same. Some don’t want anything fixed, others act as if they are open to everything until they have reached their goal and then ghost. The next are looking for someone who supports themselves financially and some are looking for a mother or father substitute. Getting to know each other also varies little. You have the choice between a direct request: “Your place at 10 p.m.?”, the obligatory meal or coffee, or a walk. Of course, the questions are always similar: “What do you do in life? What are you looking for? How was your week?” and many more. At some point you get so bored that you really appreciate the TV evenings with yourself and pizza on the couch.
The question of the meaning and time of getting to know new people takes a lot of time. Not only the appointments as such, but also the previous communication robs you of a lot of your free time. Even worse: it occupies the head. So if you actually want to realize something else as a part-time job, you hardly get to do it because you are entertaining strangers. By neglecting your own plans and dreams, frustration sometimes sets in over time, which makes it difficult to date because you can see the time slipping through your fingers.
You’re longing for the end of the dating app era. Maybe you got lucky and you’ve already met someone who is doing pretty well. However, there are a few points that bother you, which is why you might have said in the past that it doesn’t fit and isn’t enough for a relationship, but the fear of going back to online dating is so strong that you consider coming to terms with the situation. This is a pretty definite sign that you’re having dating burnout if you’d rather accept traits in a potential partner that bother you than have to swipe again.
After a while on dating apps, many singles report that they are really fed up with it. In contrast to the classic way of getting to know each other in a bar, the offer is simply too big. A 2020 study by researchers T. V. Grøntvedt, Mons Bendixen, E. O. Botnen and L. Kennair confirms this. The study reveals how many people you have to get to know online on average for sexual contact to take place. Only 20 percent of all contact leads to bed – that also means that 80 percent of the time you write in vain.
If you find yourself in a dating bunout, take an indefinite hiatus. It may be that the desire to meet new people returns after a few months of abstinence. If you want to waste a little less time on data, apps like Bumble, which have a reasonable filter function, can help. Here you can search specifically for people who have indicated whether they are looking for an affair or a relationship. In this way you filter out a few and end up struggling with a few less chats.
Sources: Myself, Süddeutsche, Study, Bumble
