“Mamaaa!” A shrill scream blaring out of the nursery. I ACE. My son (then four years old) sits with a scared face twisted up in bed: “Under my bed is a Monster!” It would be so easy to say: “Oh, honey, you know, there are no monsters.” But the fear goes away? Most of the time not.
The child does not feel understood and not taken seriously. But as it is not to get rid of the fear of the Monster, if the adults believe him? In reality, the Monster is there. And it very’s scary. To understand the basis for the feeling, which is urgently necessary, in order to experience save it as a positive is. Understanding allowed me, all my feelings, you allow for and adopt if necessary. About the expert
Gunda Frey children and adolescents psychotherapist is. In her book, “children, what do you need to” declared type, why children have certain needs, offer a framework for a trouble-free development and to help parents to see the world through children’s eyes. Here you can read an excerpt from the book.
book recommendation (display)
children give you what you need: How children develop freely and self-consciously” from Gunda Frey
about The book
to Me but a certain feeling not to admit, even though it is clearly there, it can’t work. So as the fear of monsters. And that is exactly where the difficulty lies. The child is afraid of monsters, not to say the other child before, talk to strangers, “Hello.” How not to make a small essence of the above-mentioned positive experiences, if we really understand what motivates the child? How are we supposed to breast-feeding adults, the above-mentioned basic needs, if we don’t take our child seriously, because we understand it?
children do not feel
understood In all my conversations with children and teenagers penetrates exactly again and again. You feel from the parents, teachers, educators did not understand. Love and well-intentioned behaviors come when a child feels understood. I assume that all parents love their children. And say that they love about the monster problem: “Oh, honey, there’s no Monster”, to take the child to the fear. In this example, we are to remember, but love alone is not enough. More on the topic of education
at Least not if it is not the pure love that understands. Our love is colored by our own experiences and ideas. The “pure” love implies a perfect Understanding of the other. I now know no man who is able to love disinterestedly. But we all are designed for growth and allowed us to approach the ideal image piece by piece. And that is precisely our task, for our own sake is. But especially to our children’s sake.
If we are honest with ourselves, it’s us adults, not unlike children. In problem questions, we act just like you: We ask people for advice, of which we feel understood, and not the one that have most likely the greatest Knowledge of the Problem. FOCUS Online provides you with the most exciting Reports from the parents. Here you can subscribe to the Newsletter.
understanding creates openness
understanding creates openness, for acceptance and for change in, or figuratively speaking: If love is the necessary seeds to make a fruit, such as the need for fulfillment of a grown-up, then the understanding of the good soil in which this Seed must be put into it. This Understanding is one of the greatest challenges of our time.
It means the ability to be able to my Knowledge, my Thinking, my experiences behind me and make me empathize with the Thinking and the experience of the other. And somehow we seem to have all forgotten how we felt as children and have thought, what was important to us, what we wanted to be taken seriously. Bread baking without yeast: lightning recipe with only 3 ingredients – so’s PCP bread baking without yeast: lightning recipe with only 3 ingredients – so it goes
