I’m not sure to what extent, is discussed in the present theme in men’s circles. Since it is mostly for other women is a Problem, I thought to myself: let’s Talk about it.
It’s about the best friend. Not mine. But at the same time. Or, quite generally, to women, to whom you have a close bond, emotionally and/or physically. And that’s why, as your partner can handle it.
Feels okay.
It’s been a long time since I met a man who liked me well, and far over the first Meeting. Believe me, this hasn’t happened in forever. Too often, my Dates have admitted to, and then either as a) a strong proponent of open relationships, b) already taken or c) the Stalker Creeps. This man, however, was not to me since our first walk in the Park from the head, and so it was that we met more and finally found: Feels okay (sorry, my love confessions are the tax declarations of the romance world).
As I fall from cloud 7
One day, I was sitting legs dangling and not realizing on my little cloud 7, he wrote to me that he had spent the night with another woman. “But only in a Platonic sense.” It was an old friend, who had surprisingly come to visit. “We had a blatant affair half a year ago, but now nothing is there. We have cuddle time – because of you.“
At this point I was out of it. Not because I didn’t believe him, that nothing was done. It was too much for me intimacy. Too much Pride in the fact that you did not cuddle time. As if this was not a matter of course, but somehow remarkable. Even the thought was not nice that the man I did not know particularly well, but very liked, in addition to another woman when I was asleep. And the idea that the two had had not too long ago Sex with each other, made it no better.
A stable Foundation for the A and O
Tricky, the Whole thing is. Especially in the case of only just the beginning of relationships, I think it is important to create a stable Foundation. I mean, a Romance that is built on a bit of Sweet Talk and three hot nights, offers the security you need to say in a Situation as described above: “Oh nice, was it nice?”
(also read: relationship on the rocks: In these problems, the partnership has no future and more)
> Only once at the celebrate
<p Many of my Friends are familiar with the Problem. It provoked discussion, the best friend of her husband is always and everywhere. And like to let on that she was there first. Another stress that your friend is welcomed to the women in his circle of friends by kissing on the mouth. Rational perspective, there is no Problem, says a concerned friend. You have no fear of side jumps and trust your Partner. But it was an emotional challenge, because this kind of body contact is to close.
And also the Situation, the man maintains close contact with former flings or female buddies with whom you can “only crashed once, when you celebrate”, provides grief and uncertainty. (Also interesting: Social Media jealousy? And your relationship with Instagram and Facebook) survived
What to do? The jealousy just swallow?
so What should we do? The familiarity will put a stop to? Kisses on the mouth to ban? His best friend say that they should find himself a Hobby, and the fingers of our man? No. The nakedness would be no one.
(Also interesting: As you combat your jealousy)
And now? Accept the fact, and the 22-year-old Model-Bff in the bed of the man to tolerate, if you are bored myself out of the house? The jealousy swallow, if his sweet friend at work clings to the Party at our Boyfriend? Also no.
The solution: feelings, according to the
say you Talk to each other. What you need now is understanding and openness on both sides. Here, you can’t understand why the other has a Problem with (to) a lot of friendship closeness between us and the Person X. But you should accept it. You know, some feelings can neither explain nor ignore. Jealousy is, for many, a feeling. The fear of losing the other, because you are not good/beautiful/smart/cool/young enough. So the Best you can do, to find these feelings out loud and together, a compromise is. (Also interesting: stress test for the relationship: So you come as a Couple, by the quarantine-time)
Oh, and, of Course, only men do not have attractive best Friends in the relationship for fuel. Men can also be the dearest buddy of your woman jealous. No matter how rum talk, to listen, and both together then. So, how should take a consideration on his insecure Partner, should not the increase in his fears of loss inside. They meet in the middle.
to give back to our constellation, from the beginning…
you should to your best friend. Or to cuddle on it, your female buddy. But you can dose it better. You overdo it in the presence of their partner, not with the displays of affection, even if you are proud to be with a beautiful woman friends. To third-when you Date you should always give your partner the priority and show her that she is the most important person for you. This is really calming and creates security. Maybe even so much that she leaves you soon for a night party with her former affair to celebrate.
(Also worth a read: “My wife has no desire for Sex. May I cheating now?” Expert answered sensitive question)
Mimi Sex columnist for GQ, and GQ.de is Erhardt. Here you can learn more about the author.
This article was written by (Mimi Erhardt)
*represents The contribution of “The best friend – and the threat that you” published by GQ. Contact with the executives here.
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