Throughout his career, designer Guido Maria Kretschmer (58) has always emphasized how close he is to his parents. But after the death of his father Erich in August, he now also has to worry about his mother Marianne (84). As he reveals in his book “19521 Steps. The Happiness of Unexpected Encounters”, which will be published on October 18th, the senior citizen has dementia.
In an interview with “Bild,” the “Shopping Queen” star said that he noticed the illness “very early.” “This illness comes on very quietly. People are happy to be corrected. My mom is increasingly going back to yesterday and mixing things up. Luckily for me, she still knows exactly what’s going on and sends 1,000 kisses to my husband Frank.” He is very happy about that. However, he is worried about what will happen next: “I don’t know what it will be like if one day the memory becomes even less.”
He thought very carefully about discussing dementia in his book. But it is “somehow part of my life now.” “But I wanted to take up the moment from that day so that you can see that I let her live and go with her every step of the way.” So he doesn’t correct his mother when she “suddenly no longer knows that her favorite sister Elli has already died.” Then his aunt would continue to live for him at that moment. “That’s how I live it now: I love my mother enough to go into her world.” Then there are moments when his mother can still remember everything. An emotional roller coaster ride. The designer emphasized: “It breaks my heart sometimes, also because it affects so many older people.”
He advises other relatives to “play along” if there are gaps in their memory rather than correcting them. That could give them some lightness. “I can really get involved in it and even find it enriching when you can get out of the way of your own life for a moment.” Because there is a “great sadness when you feel that your own mother suddenly forgets”. You should be grateful for the moments you shared and treat your parents lovingly.
Marianne Kretschmer also sometimes forgets that her husband died in August at the age of 87. “Sometimes my mother finds out every day that my father has died.” He can even see something positive in her dementia on the subject: “Perhaps nature also thought of it this way, that she was gone very easily and therefore didn’t experience his death so massively, because otherwise she would have been broken by it. In hindsight, it was hers Dementia may be a blessing.”
