“Can I cook” is one of the first questions asked in many chats on dating portals such as Tinder, Bumble and Co. Of course I can, to put it another way, who can’t thanks to sites like Chefkoch and recipe videos on social media these days? But if you allow yourself the joke “No, should I?!” to answer, you quickly notice: The male world is very surprised and often follows: “Why not?” or something similarly frightened.
But that’s not the only cliché or prejudice that a woman still has to deal with when getting to know each other. If you are very attractive, it is immediately assumed that you cannot have much in your head. Some men even joke about it. A friend of mine recently said on this topic: “I’m asking you, have you ever seen a beauty rule a country or name me a beautiful CEO off the cuff, successful like Mark Zuckerburg, Musk and Co.” – an above-average optics is still evaluated with: “either or”. Either beauty or IQ.
It gets really bad when this very woman, who combines beauty and intellect, possibly also likes a little more artificial, Kardashianesque look and/or likes to wear skimpy clothing. Then it is clear for many men when dating: It must be easy to get, have met many men in life and of course, as mentioned above, not be the brightest candle on the cake. In particular, very feminine optics are categorized as “cheap” in many minds.
But money always plays a role when you get to know each other. Unlike in the 1950s, women mostly earn their own money today, which is also a very positive development for many men, but please not too much. In other words, there are still some men who can’t handle it if she earns more than he does. Some women even fake an orgasm for this reason so that he doesn’t doubt his skills and feels good. Women who have achieved a lot professionally are often assumed to be aiming for a childless, career-oriented life and have no time at all for a serious partnership.
A phenomenon that goes in a similar direction, but is very common on the dating market: She is over thirty, she definitely wants to marry every man immediately and start a family. In many cases, men still perceive women over thirty as “old, desperately willing and easy to get hold of”. The fact that there are many different ways of life today that may not represent the housewife of the 1950s and that women could buy themselves a fertile period after their mid-40s by freezing egg cells is completely ignored. This way of thinking really starts for some men towards women as soon as a three comes up in front of the age.
And when it comes to the emotional sphere, too, women still struggle with many prejudices. If she is a princess, has a squeaky voice and is perhaps also very emotional, then she must be helpless and badly in need of him as protector and king of the world. On the other hand, if she’s a little rougher, perhaps has a construction worker’s sense of humor and a big mouth, then she must be tough and able to handle a lot.
So anyone who thinks that the old rolls have long since been gathering dust under the stove is wrong. Because almost nowhere else, as in dating, does it become clear that the old generations still gave the new ones their images of women. Hand on heart, which man reading this text can claim that he doesn’t think like that at all?
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