Especially at the beginning of a relationship, one often wears the much-discussed rose-colored glasses and the saying “love is blind” is often applicable in the initial emotional phase. It is therefore all the more important to recognize warning signals and avoid mistakes.
With the support of psychologist Alice Boyes, the online magazine “Psychology Today” published five fatal mistakes that should be avoided at all costs at the beginning of a relationship:
Opposites attract That may be true at the beginning of a relationship, the partner ticks differently, everything is exciting and unpredictable, but in the long run these differences can become a problem. Maybe one of you likes to call the shots and make suggestions, while the other is more passive. Not a problem at first, but over time it can get annoying, to name just one example. It is important to think carefully about how important the points and differences are or could become in a partnership.
The rose-colored glasses and the overall mood At the beginning of a relationship, most people are on cloud nine, but with one or the other couple the mood turns negative over time. Here the psychologist defines two important points: On the one hand, one should not be fooled by the rose-colored glasses of being in love at the beginning and thus overlook important warning signs, on the other hand, one should pay attention to the overall mood of the relationship over time. Does it tilt into the negative and do things like the other person’s lateness annoy you more than before? A good mood is the basis for being able to remain objective in a relationship.
The opinion of friendsFriends can be a regulator in life. Even in the case of a new love affair, friends can objectively assess the new partner without rose-colored glasses when they meet for the first time. However, this practice of seeking the advice and opinion of friends also has its dangers. Everyone has different life experiences and therefore different trigger points, things that bother them. Maybe the new partner doesn’t leave the best impression in the few hours before nervousness, or a friend feels reminded of a bad experience in her life.
Refusing growthIn a partnership, one should be able to grow as best as possible. Both together as a couple and as a single person. Everyone has different skills, interests and hobbies. Why not get a taste of the other person’s world? You broaden your own horizons and in the best case scenario you even lose a common hobby or interest. So if you refuse personal growth and new experiences, you harm yourself and possibly also the potential of the relationship.
Becoming a puppetThe fifth mistake on this list also carries a risk: becoming your partner’s clone or puppet. Some people tend to give themselves up in a relationship. You should always make sure that you see yourself as an individual in the relationship, so as not to degenerate into the image of your partner. If you neglect this, you not only lose friends around you, but above all yourself. You should also keep a watchful eye on whether your partner tends to isolate, isolate or boss you around. That too can turn you into a puppet.
Quelle: Psychology Today
also read
How relationship problems affect our mental health
Aminata Belli: “One in three women suffers from violence in a relationship”
Politicians need to wake up: we talk about dark parks, but women’s homes are the most dangerous
