What is the most pressing Problem of the police? Of clan-controlled No-Go Areas in North Rhine-Westphalia? Marauding Mobs, the entglasen Stuttgart city centre? Drug-Parks in Berlin, in which one assigns to dealers by a chalk mark on your own area? Everything wrong! It is, of course, the ubiquitous climate-disaster. That’s why the police needs to be greener and cut down on CO2. There’s the HP-Swank!
The police now is in micro-Stromer
In North Rhine-Westphalia takes the from the USA over geschwappten Trend “Defund the Police” finally, literally, and equips the officers with electric clown cars. The e. Go Life has everything it takes to be a squad car: it is recommended that Around 100 kilometers of range in the summer (operation of radio and blue light while driving), space for two officers (please no weapons holster, which the police will not fit in a 3 series BMW really clean) and funny yellow fluorescent strips, so that the truck driver is not to be overlooked, the rubber-tyred Kasper Shack with a bit of luck. At the suggestion of the Green was colored for the blue light on the roof of a recycled yogurt-Cup-with a biodegradable, particularly calming Blue. The Munich police drives recently, Porsche? Wrong police car for discussion on PCP, the Munich police Driving makes recently Porsche? Wrong police car provides for discussion
In the service of the first E. Go-Stromer be filed with the police in Aachen. Evil tongues claim that the NRW Minister Armin Laschet could have set this whole thing up via the official channels, after all, he has for the electric-Startup stirred neat the drum. The company is supposed to be the “German Tesla”. We keep our fingers crossed, especially since the company is currently under bankruptcy protection screen; probably because sales are not going so well.
Shock and Awe: Criminals are supposed to laugh
E. Go, after all, a whole new police strategies for de-escalation possible. The leading Antifa groups criticized as too aggressive “Shock and Awe”method is replaced by the tactics of the “Shock and Laugh”: Criminals would curl ATM-Cracker, passing by in her Audi Q7, at the sight of the blue-light-e. Go, probably on the floor Laughing and could be taken without the use of violence or unnecessary, the voice (temporarily) fixed.
What would say to celebrities to the new Green Minna? We speculate a little bit into the blue:
- “has Finally understood the police that the traffic turning alternative is. Maybe we reduce the power cost a bit. But I can’t promise anything!” (Svenja S., Minister of the environment)
- “A good start, but for me personally, still too much car. You can’t zoom out a little and the Motor out? And you need the wheels because, really?” (Luisa N., climate Savior, and a lot of pilots)
- “awesome! A four-man, four-corners – and you can throw that thing right through the window. Fuck the Police!” (Anonymous follower of the Stuttgart Event scene)
a power reduction of the e. Go is being Discussed now on 45 km/h, so that future police generations will be able to drive the car without a car license. Provided that you can find in a few years someone who wants to do this Job voluntarily, if the policy is abused to the officials with General racism is suspected or Anti-police-laws as currently in Berlin, or a Mob as the one in Stuttgart, using the police as a mobile Punching bag. Italy: In the case of too much Bunga-Bunga, the police are coming now-Jeep FOCUS Online/Wochit Italy: the Case of too much Bunga-Bunga, the police Jeep
electric comes now? Yes, but do it right!
by the Way: The part of this Satire, in which the North Rhine-Westphalian police car the e. Go, as the strip absorbs into your fleet, really is true. And: This Text is not to be understood as a desecration of the electric car per se – after all, there is electricity, which are really good cars to the strip. A brawny E-Tron SUV from Audi, a fast-paced Taycan from Porsche, or an all-round-capable Tesla Model S would be no salmon numbers. However, this Stromer cars to consume for the new climate-ambitions of the police, probably too much energy and would be for a narrow Budget to expensive. Then only the electric cargo bike helps. All the same, Stuttgart, Berlin or Munich and want to make their inner cities already car-free. Then the officials would be on the Bike at least faster than the Beagle boys walk. But only as long as the get a horse.
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