to win
The trust to another Person, to build the key for a personal relationship with you to be able to. This creates a common Basis, on the people, their feelings and emotions freely and without fear of rejection can Express. It is the basis for whether we like a Person or not, whether we want to work with her or not, and whether we allow her to do things and to say that we would not other be. But how we win the trust by someone?
Robin Dreeke, former head of the behavioral science division of the FBI (Yes, the same Department, we know from Netflix,’ great series ” mind hunter “), is the author of a book with the title “Not All About Me: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone” (in English: “It’s not just me: The Top Ten techniques to build quick trust anyone”), it is a method to start a a conversation with a Stranger , and to win as quickly as possible the confidence. (Also read: Therefore, the digital visibility is so important for the career)
build trust: It must be at the end of the interview in point of view
For Dreeke is the key to create is what he calls “artificial time limits” . The FBI expert is of the view that the biggest discomfort is not with conversations between Strangers in the uncertainty, to know when to call will end .
If we are, for example, in the subway, and a Stranger starts to talk to us, we fear that he stays with us the whole time, and we need to talk for a long time, until we get off. If we are at a Party, we are afraid that the Person wants to talk all night long with us. And if we are in the gym, we are afraid that she speaks every day, as we see it, with us. Or worse, that we have to share the machines, free weights and everything else, which we train from now on with her.
We have a terrible fear that from now on, a social Band links that no longer want to let go of the other Person. For the former FBI agent, this is the basis of distrust: We fear that if we talk to a lot of, this Person we do not know, it remains for the Rest of the night, the Rest of the week, or the Rest of our lives on our side. the It’s a pretty irrational thought , but it is there. And the worst part is: Other people think the Same about us . (Also read: 5 tips for your General knowledge can strengthen)
How you build the trust with someone?
For Dreeke it comes to making clear , that the conversation we have begun, box end . In his own words: “ The first step in the process, to develop a good relationship and lead to good conversations is to let the other Person know that an end is in sight , and that this end is very close. In this way, we the other Person to show that we appreciate your time and you do not or in the hardware take want to get bored. the A good set? ‘I wanted to me just a Minute, take the time to tell you…’ or ‘I’ll go, but before I go, I wanted to tell you that…’ ‘I’ve come to So-and-So to a meeting, but I just wanted to say…’”
of Course, this is not the best phrases to break the ice , but you can shortly after the beginning of the conversation to say, to loosen the tension significantly. (Also read: 6 tips on how to use their creativity
What can increase) is to do from this Moment on?
If we have set this deadline, we are left with only the old manual, non-verbal communication to get. First of all, you smile to be honest , not contrived. A Person smile to see, creates rest and solidarity in the case of the other Person.
In addition, it is useful in the attitude of our interlocutor to form . If the conversation is, of course, synchronise our Gestures and the Position of our body, almost as we are standing in front of a mirror . But if this “dance” takes place, it’s not bad to start with, to dance with him consciously, and to imitate the Gestures of the Person in front of us. In this way, the other Person will feel, unconsciously, that you feel the same or you are connected and confidence will grow quickly. The Same happens with the sound, the melody and the volume of the voice: the more similar, the better .
What relates to the topic of conversation, recommends Dreeke, the Ego as quickly as possible. Instead of our successes to count, or to try to have in all rights, we should have a true interest in for the Person in front of us and ask questions . But this is not an interrogation: “For any of the Information we have received from the other Person, we need to reward you with real information about us “. (Read also: So much content you need, according to experts, in order to be happy)
This article originally appeared under the title at the GQ Spain.
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This article was written by (Néstor Parrondo)
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