Everything is getting more and more expensive. The Corona rules are corrosive. The politicians do what they want anyway. And anyway: It’s cold, wet and windy outside. Well, do you recognize yourself in one or more of these sentences? No wonder – because we Germans are real experts when it comes to complaining and nagging. Yes, the current times of crisis actually offer a lot of fuel for extensive complaints – but couldn’t we find other ways to vent our anger?
The clear answer here is: It depends. Basically, complaining at first is not necessarily the best way to deal with tangible annoyances. This is simply because it is usually not very solution-oriented. Maybe you know this from yourself: you keep revolving around the same problems, complain about the weather or the news – but you can’t really do anything about it.
But why are we complaining at all? As so often, the origin lies in our socialization. If we learned as children that we get what we want by complaining, then as adults we tend to complain about things loudly. The same applies if our parents themselves belong to the group of ambitious complainers.
But complaining always serves a specific purpose. On the one hand, of course, it serves as a welcome outlet for expressing our anger. On the other hand, we often want to arouse the sympathy of our fellow human beings. In fact, when we share our outrage about things with other people, it can strengthen our connection with other people.
But: constant complaining doesn’t make us happy – quite the opposite. Every time we dwell on everything that’s going wrong in life, we automatically shift our focus to the negative. And so we may eventually get used to focusing more on problems instead of the many beautiful things that life has to offer.
So it’s definitely worth critically examining your own griping. For starters, the simple question is enough: is it even worth getting upset about? Most of the time we can answer the question very quickly with “No”. This means we can then consciously decide not to let ourselves out about the weather or the unfriendly colleague. As a rule, we cannot change either of these.
But what we can change is how we deal with our anger. The anger researcher and Mainz psychology professor Dr. In an interview with the “Techniker Krankenkasse”, Thomas Kubiak said: “It is best to drive if you accept your anger, let it pass and then try to find a constructive solution to the problem.” Most of the time, the anger lasts no more than ten minutes.
Admittedly, ten minutes of anger usually feels pretty bad. But there are simple alternatives that often get us further than simply complaining. For example, it can be much more liberating to let out the pent-up energy during exercise or to concentrate on conscious breathing for a few minutes. Kneading a stress ball can also work wonders here.
But there are also situations in which we are rightly annoyed. For example, because someone behaves unfairly towards us, disappoints us, violates boundaries or willingly ignores our needs. In this case – and yes, only then – complaining is expressly allowed.
Because even those who always hold back in order not to attract negative attention and belong to the much-criticized “nagging society” of the Germans will remain silent when in doubt, even if a serious word is more than necessary to stand up for themselves and their values . And then complaining is the better alternative after all – if it takes place in a solution-oriented manner.
Source: Techniker Krankenkasse, 7mind guide
