We need to talk about something.
There is one thing that can make me really furious, and that is when I invite people to the events, and they don’t even bother to answer yes or no to the invitation.
I will return to.
I make myself in it daily the most honest efforts to live up to the commonly prevailing notion that one gets what one gives. Not how to understand, that I jealously counting on how much a gift has cost, and makes sure to provide exactly the same again; in fact daddy I stinginess more than anything else.
I have through life observed, that people who are stingy on the ’you got a serving of brussels sprouts more than me’-the way and therefore sitting with the calculator in your phone promotion on the restaurant to ensure that they are not going to pay 32 dollars too much, usually are also stingy with everything else, ranging from loving – to the helpfulness of the staff.
No, I firmly believe that kindness, care and a helping hand must be given in rich abundance to all who have this kind of need, even if it is not, you know.
If I help the old lady in the train with her trunk up in the bagagehylden in Odense, denmark (and remember to say in good time in Høje Taastrup, that I should probably come and take it down again, when she must, so she does not care about it), there is probably another that is doing something similar for MY mum when she visited me, and, with the train home again.
And then you also get the joy of that bemeldte lady loudly exclaimed: ’Where ARE you strong, young lady!’, which of course does not make the day worse, when it rains and is cold, and in fact is a gigtsvag 48-year-old, who is so pale that it is almost luminescent.
I also have a great need for socializing. I love to see people in my home, and I love to get out.
I go to concerts and to the movies, and leads an extensive correspondence with my friends and family, both in the phone, on social media, sms and through something as archaic as the postal mail.
I invite often and like people for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I sønderjysk descent, so I’m doing as a general rule, food for an army, why there is always space for an extra envelope at the dining table, which, incidentally, is so far that we can sit twelve. I will be happy to have people around me.
And I will get sad when I hear about people who are lonely, and stands behind them in the queue at the pharmacy, where they talk and talk about nothing for the pharmacist, because it is the only living man, the meetings of the day.
We shall be seen, and we shall speak together. Also when it is not christmas. And I would like to be the exponent and the initiator. But something has happened in recent years. And it pisses me off.
People do not match. Regardless, if I write a text or create an event on Facebook, or (if it is one of those days where I orcs it) write a letter, I experience increasingly that I must advance for the response. And that the agreements be cancelled with short notice and poor excuses, because you don’t just want to bother yet or got a better offer.
I’m not alone with my experience. In my circle of friends there are round birthdays in schools. People make effort with invitations and celebrations, and yet they must beg and ask family and friends to responders, just like you evidently do not count it as something special to opt-out of a family of four on the day of the party, because you’re not in the mood for it.
Now I say it just as it is: There are no people who are so busy or so important that they can’t manage to say ’yes, thank you’ or ’no, thanks’ to a well-intentioned invitation. It is sheer uopdragenhed, and I can’t have it. It is completely no matter, whether the people sending you a text or a carrier pigeon, you must answer. It is no longer.
Then do it. Now!
Scroll Grabow
Scroll Grabow has for more than twenty years been topledelses and kriserådgiver for companies in the Nordic region. In the last seven years she has operated her own consulting firm. She is born in 1971, msc. mag. in old norse philology, mother of two, liberal, and completely devoid of patience.
