I have read a post in newspaper Politiken, written by a mother who had wanted to cancel christmas, because she thought it was so fucking stressful because she had to see all three julekalendere with his children.
And so it was a lot of squeal and howl about anything with candy and juleafslutninger.
She had the game hard. Obviously. The kind of love Politiken’s readers to revel in. Obviously.
And I came to think that december and the new year well just is the time, where you can saddle on and prioritize differently than you have done in the past year, so instead of actually cancel christmas she might become adult and begin to prioritize.
I could suggest the lady to let the kids see at least two of julekalenderne in a private company and ask her if she has heard of Karen Wolf.
I came to also to think about what my own new year’s resolution was for the year 2020. In 2019, it was about to drink more, and I must just say that the intent was taken seriously. It was also something to follow my intuition. It takes a very rare error, so it is outright ridiculous to disregard it.
In 2020, I have decided to ditch the people who are lying. It is so infinitely stupid, when the adults are lying – and for a number of reasons. First, the obvious: Other adults could figure out, when you fire the shit of.
They are not idiots. In fact it is only the liar who selvbedrager, who is the idiot. But also, you must not lie, all the while you actually do not need it! You are adult! Stand by yourself, please make yourself aware and take the blow that may have come by to say the truth. You can well defend it – otherwise you’d man up and say sorry.
Lie is just pathetic.
And so I will try to look a little more up. I work hard at what it means to be present. My brother was always extremely present, while I often have my face buried in my cell phone.
Such a he was in fact only a year before he died – and it was not a smartphone. I will lift the gaze. Look people in the eyes. See what’s happening around me. I will sniff check. Maybe you live a little bit more, when registering the surroundings. Maybe if you listen better, remember better, when you look at them, that speak.
Maybe.
And then I will begin to go to funerals. I do not have figures on how many times I’ve seen the film ‘Harrold and Maude, a wonderful gem about an older woman who gets a relationship with a very young man.
They met each other at a funeral, which turns out to be the older woman’s hobby: to go to the funerals.
I have been a part of the past few years. It is sad, but it is also beautiful. And in any case it is a reminder that we all must hence, and, therefore, enough to consider to live while we are here. How to really for real.
Ditte Okman
Ditte Okman is the radio host of the popular B. T.-podcast ‘What we are talking about’, where each week she turns kendissladderen with a panel of big personalities. In addition, she is the mother of two, debater, and author of the book ‘Thin and rich’.
