Are you not sad?
the Question from the 10-year-old son was addressed to Maria Frantzen Sanko, who in case of serious illness in the family back then was very careful to show she was not upset and scared.
‘It probably should go,’ as she put it.
“I did much out of trying to be strong,” she says.
the Question from his son was a turning point for Maria Frantzen Sanko. How – we will return to.
First, you must understand why this story is relevant to you.
the Narrative framework, namely, down in the something of it, we all at one time or another encounter in our lives. That we are losing someone or fear that they will lose. And that we are often really bad to talk about it when it happens.
How would you, for example, react if a child, you had close to, was in grief?
you Would also assure that everything would go – or would you have to show that you in fact were just as scared as the child itself?
The 37-year-old Maria Frantzen Sanko, it is a subject that has filled much.
in Fact, so much so that she now has released a ungdomsroman about what happens if you fail to talk about it, that is hard.
the Book ‘Hovedspring public’ is fictional, but the inspiration she has from her real life.
In the book we follow the young boy Simon, whose father has cancer. But in the family is talking, not about the disease. It thus becomes more and more taboo as time goes on.
the Author’s son had some years ago a grandparent, who was seriously ill of cancer.
It was in this context that it dawned on Maria that she herself had a hard time talking about death.
“We will like to protect his children and keep them from everything that is evil,” says Maria Frantzen Milanobet Sanko, when she looks back in the day.
So back to the why question in the beginning of this article was a turning point in the author’s life.
“Right there it dawned on me that this was what he needed to hear: That I was also sad and scared. I did not know if it would go. As an adult you can’t control everything, and it has probably been a realization for me,” she says.
As teacher is Maria otherwise used to be her, who fixes everything and have a grip on things. But suddenly she was without options, without control.
She learned that it is okay to ask for the grief and the emotions associated with it.
“If you as an adult dare to show emotion, so it doesn’t grow and become taboo, then it is my belief that it will be easier for children to handle and talk about it, which is hard,” says Maria Frantzen Sanko, who in addition to his own son has two bonussønner.
Bedsteforælderen never over his cancer. But it was no longer taboo in the family.
Later, the family has again tried, what it’s like to lose choose. This time a hamster.
“I’ve had to take myself in again to reassure you that ‘it shall be’, even though I had promised myself to let be. So on the way I can use the book as a mirror – for I will not be like the main character’s mother, who makes death and disease is a taboo in an attempt to protect herself and her children. The important thing is to put into words the fear and the grief, no matter what form it comes in,” she says.
