festival of the sacrifice: In southern Germany, Weinheim is now the post-modern pentathlon in the framework of the “1. Jammeriade“ instead of
The crowd is visibly affected, as the athletes photo: ap
raining cats and dogs on this cool autumn day in southern Germany, Weinheim. Nevertheless, several Hundred spectators gathered in the stands of the bonus veren siteler Sepp-Herberger-Stadion, to the 1. To experience “Jammeriade”. Applause remains, as Jürgen Schlömer, the Chairman of the “Central Association of German professional victim”, opening speech to the microphone occurs. About the speakers all the guests were asked in advance to refrain from any Clapping, as this could irritate people with blast trauma heavy.
“love people!”, Schlömer begins. “In our society there are the Successful and the Lucky ones who always are in the focus. With our Jammeriade, the para-Olympic Games, for the of the society for the disabled, we want the victims in our country is finally visible. But that’s not all: We want to find out in the sports competition also, who is the biggest victim of all, so that finally becomes clear to which side a man needs to propose to include in order to definitely the Blame.“
The audience nods silently, but visibly affected. Four athletes to enter now to the sounds of the classic “Cry me a river” the competition course. Jürgen Schlömer extends successively to all the microphone, so that you can present to the Fans.
“I’m here to think for others, feel for others, to speak for others,” begins Jana Hensel, your short speech. “For the zone children, for the East Germans! The untold suffering of millions of East Germans, I try to Express in the sound of my voice. This Suffering, this terrible Leeeeeiiiiiiiden!“, into it boosts the writer in their Suada. “What will not must endure the East everything: low wages, erection problems, Black people in the tram. How not to choose the East Germans there, please?“
The next athlete to take the microphone, it Aiman is Mazyek from the Central Council of Muslims. “I’m here on behalf of millions of German Muslims suffer, to have to constantly vicariously for the acts of other Muslims stand for. Just because from time to time, someone in the name of Allah will be blown up or beheaded, do you work anywhere criticism of Islam. Fairness looks different! The terrorist attacks of Vietnamese or Italian immigrants, nobody speaks!“
“Many of you will believe me to be here out of place,” continues BMW major shareholder Stefan Quandt. “A billionaire is not a victim of society! But people like me must endure the envy and hatred. Ruthlessly we are being pursued by Communists and employees of the tax office. We are like the Jews of the present day. How many people forget that my wealth was Belugabahis hard work! Not from me, admittedly. But it is also a power, to be the right parents born!“
A murmur in the crowd in the stands is audible, as the last Athlete introduces himself: “My Name is Björn Höcke. There is nobody in our beautiful country, and is demonised by the cartel parties, and the media system as I do. This shows once more, that I was chosen by the Providence chosen to serve Germany, once as a dictator. I look forward to the next Competition and I am confident to win the final victory in the struggle for existence!“
Finally, the post begins a modern five-fight. As the first competition, the “bucket wines” is on the program: In the shortest possible time, there is a need to fill a container with five litres of tears. Jana Hensel’s after two minutes and is clearly in the lead. But also the visually emotionalized Björn Höcke well. Aiman Mazyek takes much longer, Stefan Quandt to even remain completely dry.
The next discipline is to show the “finger”. The Emo-athletes need to persistently teach your index finger to the counterparty, and “you’re to blame!” call. For this contest, Björn Höcke is clear as the winner. While the others leave after a few minutes your arms to fall exhausted, its rights to attention. Practice makes the master!
It follows the “responsibility shedding”. Here is Stefan Quandt wins consider throwing one of his employees, 7,56 meters far. Jana Hensel is throwing in the sponge, in contrast, only two meters into the field, Aiman Mazyek can distance itself from the Sharia law, which is only thirty centimeters wide. And Björn Höcke don’t want to leave his signed copy of “Mein Kampf” from the hands. “Has my grandfather personally given!”, the Old-Thuringian solemnly declared.
The fourth discipline is to Call the “Lonely”, in which they all have to fighters trying to roar as loud as possible “I”. More difficult to you through the gag. But the pros are, even though they are actually silenced, surprisingly effortlessly in the position to generate the volume of a starting jet aircraft. The spectators in the stands, the ears to keep. This round has four winners.
Finally, the decision of the seam. A obstacle course is the final of the five-way battle. As Jürgen Schlömer gives the signal to start, fast blocks, the athletes from the start. Only Jana Hensel remains clear, you did not seem to hear the shot. After four hundred meters, the runners encounter the only obstacle: A barrier of half a Meter in height, stands in front of you. All four stand and begin to rant. “Again, an unfair barrier!”, complains Mazyek. “Once again the enemies of the people resort to dirty Tricks!”, whines Höcke. “This obstacle is the wall in the heads!”, barmt Hensel. “Had I only my car to get the boards!”, Quandt’s angry. Then all four of them give up and leave, shaking his head the stadium.
Among the spectators silent Protest rises. Jürgen Schlömer occurs again to the microphone to calm the explosive situation: “dear people! I apologize for the somewhat disappointing outcome of our first Jammeriade. Unfortunately, we are not able to set up today as planned, a winner or a winner of the crown of thorns. When I think about’s law, we would have had to have known actually. Who’s going to win in a competition, the only losers participate?“
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