“Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.”
From the Bible.
One didn’t have to be a culé to understand that when José Mourinho was in charge of Real Madrid, the Clásicos against Pep Guardiola’s Barcelona were allegorical battles between good and evil. Barça, chosen by God, had an angel; Madrid was Satan’s team.
Not anymore. Continuing in the allegorical vein, the three miraculous victories that have taken Madrid to the Champions League final indicate not only that God has made himself white, but now Carlo Angelotti’s team – sorry, Ancelotti – is the one raising the sword of divine justice. Look at the three rivals that Madrid got out of the way: Paris Saint-Germain, Chelsea and Manchester City. Everyone in their own way represents evil. Not because of his style of play, but because of the sources of his wealth.
First, Paris Saint-Germain. During the first 150 of the 180 minutes of the round of 16 tie, the French team dominated Madrid in an almost embarrassing way. God did not like this. Repeating the feat of Son of him with Lázaro, he brought Madrid back to life, blessing them with three goals that lacked an earthly explanation. Why didn’t God like that Madrid was losing? Because PSG players’ salaries are paid for by the tiny desert country of Qatar, whose winning this year’s World Cup represents the most blatant symbol of the deadly sin that surrounds football, corruption.
Second, in the quarterfinals, came Chelsea. God was already forewarned and saw to it that Madrid won the first game, in London, by three goals to one. He was careless during the second leg in Madrid and suddenly found that, in the 75th minute, Chelsea was leading 3-0 and the tie was a dead ball. This couldn’t be. The owner of Chelsea until very recently, the one who built with his questionably obtained rubles the best version of the London team in history, was the Russian Roman Abramovich, the Faustian character who added more millions to his millions in exchange for selling his soul to the satanic Vladimir Putin.
God had to act quickly, just like in the game against PSG, but since it is eternal and time means nothing to Him, there was no problem. Two goals, the second in the 96th minute, and Madrid went through to the semi-final.
God, exhausted, will have sighed deeply when he saw that the rival would be Manchester City. As he sees everything and knows everything, he understands that City plays better than Madrid. Symphonic football against orgy football. With which – what a remedy – once again he was going to have to intervene in favor of his exterminating angels.
So it was. Demonstrating generosity beyond human comprehension, God allowed Madrid to score two goals in the first leg in Manchester, limiting City to three when they deserved six. Would Madrid win the return leg this time? God had calculated that, but no. He had to intervene again. In the 89th minute, City won the match 1-0, the tie 4-2.
The young madridista Rodrygo was the pure soul that God chose to score a goal in the 90th minute and another in the 91st. Extra time began –they were 4-4– and God thought, enough is enough. I have other things to do, in the Ukraine, for example. Five minutes after the break, he became flesh in the person of the Italian referee, who, with a faith that not even St. John the Evangelist, pointed out a penalty in favor of Madrid. God’s favorite sinner, the heretic Karim Benzema, scored the goal and goodbye City, hello Madrid to the Champions League final.
What did City do to offend Divinity? Let us resort to a phrase inspired by Dante Alighieri: “The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in a moment of moral crisis, maintain neutrality.” “Those”, in this case, are the owners of City, the sheikhs who rule the United Arab Emirates, traitors to their Ukrainian player Oleksandr Zinchenko, cynics who have remained rigorously neutral in the face of Putin’s war, giving him their de facto blessing . The defeat against Madrid, infinitely painful, was his divine punishment.
And in this divine allegory, what role does Barcelona play? Easy. Once the favourite, today he is the godforsaken, in purgatory, awaiting good news.
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