Philine and Timo are both 20 years old. They met at vocational school and are both training to become nurses. They have been a couple for a year and finished their training in August. Then they want to move in together.Philine: When I went to the gynecologist for the first time at the age of 13, I was prescribed the pill. Just like that. Prophylactic. Pretty early, I think today. I took the pill back then without worrying about the side effects. It was only in my relationship with Timo that I realized that something was wrong with me. I was constantly unhappy, cried often and was unmotivated. My period was a disaster: I bled constantly, but always very lightly. I didn’t have a cycle even though I took the pill regularly. Everything was messed up, including my feelings. Timo: My mother enlightened me. She reminded me to use condoms and at some point she simply put a pack on the table. It was a bit uncomfortable for me, but somehow normal. We talked about contraception early on, casually. There wasn’t one big educational discussion at the kitchen table. Fortunately. My mother tended to check on me every now and then when I was in the bathroom getting ready or something. She always repeated: It’s not just women who are responsible for contraception, but us men too.Philine: Timo is my first relationship, I had my first sex with him.Timo: I had my first time at 14, with the wrong person at the wrong place. Certainly not the worst decision of my life, but definitely one I regret. I have my first long-term relationship with Philine.
Philine: When I went to the doctor about my symptoms, she said that the dosage of the pill was probably too low – and prescribed a stronger one. That didn’t feel right. I took it anyway because I was afraid of stopping the pill after seven years.Timo: I never found out about the pill, but I saw with Philine how it can work. The constant bleeding, the self-doubt, both physical and mental, the breakdowns. At some point I said: What if you don’t take them anymore? Philine: Without Timo, I don’t think I would have stopped taking the pill. It was his idea after he saw that I wasn’t feeling well. He said we’ll have sex with a condom for now until we find another solution. At the beginning we used condoms for contraception anyway because we didn’t know whether any of us had any illnesses. By chance we were then forced to get tested because first Timo and a little later I had pricked ourselves with patient needles. Timo: We were then tested for HIV, hepatitis C and so on. Philine: We are both healthy, but we still often used condoms when my cycle was messed up. After we were together for six months, we decided that I would stop taking the pill. Timo: We had been finding out about the spiral for some time. It was said that it is only recommended after the first pregnancy. But Philine’s friends had already had them used.
Philine: I went to my gynecologist for a routine check-up and told her that I had stopped taking the pill. She then wanted to put the hormonal coil on me, but I didn’t want that. I mentioned that I find it crazy that young girls are always prescribed the pill. That it’s always about hormonal contraception. She said she recommends them because hormonal contraceptive methods are cheap and safe. I think it’s too rarely about the side effects. Timo: Philine has been slowly getting better lately.Philine: I was so afraid that I would get bad skin without the pill. I was just a child when I started taking the pill. So I didn’t know what my skin was like without the pill. I thought, are the puberty pimples coming late now? But none of that happened. My mood is much better. Timo: I would have liked to come with you to the appointment with the gynecologist, but men are not allowed into the practice. Not even in the waiting room. Then I went out for ice cream.Philine: I told the gynecologist that I would like to try out the copper IUD, and then she immediately had the information discussion. We did an ultrasound. It wasn’t clear whether the copper coil was too big for my body, but the smallest size seemed to fit. It costs 200 euros.Timo: We will split the costs.Philine: It was supposed to be used for me yesterday. I’ve been looking for a suitable appointment for months. It must happen during the period, but not on the first day, but on the second or third day. Yesterday my period was already over. In the last four months, the insertion had to be postponed again and again because of public holidays or weekends. Or there were no free appointments, a bit annoying. The next attempt is now in February.Timo: I don’t know exactly how this spiral will fit into Philine’s body. But I think it sounds like a good solution. Philine: It also brings risks. It can slip out, slip, become infected or cause an ectopic pregnancy. But I would still rather accept that than the side effects of the pill.
