A Wednesday in October. My parents’ blue house is perfectly highlighted by the sun. My mother’s paradise garden has grown so lush that I have to fight my way through the jungle like Indiana Jones once did to reach the kitchen window. One look and I see her: With a cup of coffee, a bowl of cereal and the traditional “Niederelbe newspaper” she is sitting in “her” place at the dining room table of my childhood.
The mental cinema begins immediately: the old, large, round wooden table – our youth debate arena. I thought back to wild discussions with my two siblings and saw my late father in front of me, who kept sprinkling in wisdom from his printed source of quotes, “Die Zeit,” in order to bring us back to a factual level. My mother, whose star sign is Libra, was always a rock. With a mild smile, she gave my father a cup of calming tea and something to snack on for us. Then there was a moment of silence.
I knock on the window, she looked up, beaming, full of love and joy. She hadn’t expected me, in the middle of the week, especially since I had previously announced a DHL package and not myself. Decades of experience as a son have taught me to surprise mom rather than announce a visit. Because that’s when large cleaning rooms traditionally start, everything is prepared in advance and all sorts of people are called in. In the end she is stressed and cannot enjoy the visit at all. So it’s better to spontaneously request entry than a familiar face on the window, after all, there’s always a cup of coffee left in the bright red pot.
Frank Behrendt (born 1963) is one of the best-known communications consultants in Germany. The graduate of the German Journalism School was a top manager in the music industry, television and large agencies. His book “Love your life and NOT your job” became a business bestseller immediately after its publication. The German Public Relations Society honored the man, who is always in a good mood, as “PR Head of the Year.” Further information: www.frankzdeluxe.de Direct dialogue: frankzdeluxe@gmail.com
It was my mother’s birthday that day and she was a proud 89 years old. “Every day I still enjoy the joy of the life that has been given to me,” she told me. A wonderful attitude. She still gives tutoring and also helps young people who have failed the exam and is happy when, thanks to her help, they finally make it.
We drank coffee and she told me the latest gossip from the neighborhood. Bunte and Gala live, but the regional editions. Because mom hadn’t prepared anything in advance, I invited her to “Ahoi”. TV star chef Steffen Henssler has also opened a branch in the tranquil Otterndorf, a great place to relax behind the dike with a direct view of the World Shipping Route. width. Water. Feel good. My mother enjoyed it to the fullest; she really enjoyed the non-alcoholic beer and the prawns. I was happy because she was happy.
A moment of excellence that I like to give her more often. Sometimes I have one of her grandchildren with me, sometimes the whole family. “You don’t need to bring me anything, your time is a gift enough,” my mother always says. That’s the point. Time. The most valuable commodity in the world, most people always have too little of it. But if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize that each of us also wastes a lot of time.
Anyone who follows a rigorous savings plan gains time and can invest it much more sensibly. I started doing this many years ago and eliminated a lot of time wasters. I also mercilessly sorted out people who don’t do you any good, only take and never give. I was amazed at how much time the magic word “no” saves you. Do you have to accept every invitation? No. Do you have to be at every event? No. Everyone can play this game for themselves and will be amazed at how often you can say no and the world still moves on without serious consequences.
The supposed answer “I have to…” is usually an excuse anyway. When in doubt, I always take a quick look at my wife’s favorite coffee cup: “I have to give a shit” is written on it. Then at the latest I answer the question of whether I might have to with a grinning no. I often say “yes” to people who are wonderful. Helping them, listening to them, spending time with them makes a lot of sense and also makes you happy.
Just like last weekend. This time it was my mother-in-law’s turn. A lovely woman who always treats me like my own son. She recently said, rather casually between a cup of coffee and a slice of strawberry cake, that she would love to go back to Zoutelande, a tranquil beach town in the Netherlands. She had been there as a young woman with her children and her husband. They were always happy days and she enjoys looking at the photos often on the couch.
My wife and I took up the ball and, true to my father’s maxim – “Today is the best time” – we didn’t put off the project. Checked the weather report, packed lunch, put the dog, children and grandma in the car and off we went – to mother-in-law’s absolute favorite place. When we got there, we witnessed an impressive metamorphosis: Grandma, who usually complains about a lot of aches and pains, walked towards the beach in a happy mood. Holding her youngest granddaughter’s hand, she took selfies while laughing, stopping every few meters, pointing to a beach house, a turnoff, a restaurant and saying: “Do you remember…” She was in the film of memories and happy.
To their great joy, the restaurant “De Branding” was still there. My wife and her siblings had already eaten “Fritjes”. My mother-in-law was all smiles when we stopped in and ordered everything that made her happy. Of course also the special French fries, which nowhere else taste as good as there. At least that’s what our grandma thinks. When large quantities of her favorite cookies were bought in a shop for the return journey, happiness was perfect. “It was the most beautiful day of the year,” she later told us, and she looked years younger when she went into her apartment with her cookie treasures.
Two women who are 177 years old together, have given birth to a total of six children and are on a good path were incredibly happy. Because we gave them time as children. Days later they were still full of joy, digging out more memories and telling all their friends about their experiences. It’s clear to me that there will soon be surprise trips like this again for the two older ladies. They are good for them and also make those who make them possible deeply happy.
