Confessions of a Serial Decision-Maker
Look, I gotta be honest with you. I’m not good at making decisions. Like, at all. I mean, I once spent 36 hours trying to decide what to have for lunch. And I’m not talking about some fancy, life-altering choice here. We’re talking about a sandwich. A sandwich, people.
It all started last Tuesday. I was at this little deli on 5th, right? The one with the weird blue awning. I was standing there, staring at the menu, and my brain just… shut down. I couldn’t decide. Turkey? Ham? Chicken? What if I chose wrong? What if the turkey was dry? What if the ham was too salty? What if the chicken was… I don’t know, too chicken-y?
So there I was, frozen in decision paralysis, when Marcus—let’s call him Marcus because I don’t remember his real name—comes up behind me and goes, “You gonna order or just stand there all day?” And I said, “I’m thinking!” And he said, “About what? They’re all sandwiches.” Which… yeah. Fair enough.
But here’s the thing. That’s just how my brain works. I overthink everything. It’s a committment issue, honestly. I can’t just pick something and stick with it. I need to analyze it from every angle. I need to weigh the pros and cons. I need to consider the historical context, the cultural implications, the astrological signs—you name it, I’ll overthink it.
When Overthinking Becomes a Lifestyle
It’s not just sandwiches, either. It’s everything. Last month, I spent 214 minutes—yes, I timed it—trying to decide what color to paint my bedroom. And by “decide,” I mean I stood in the hardware store, staring at paint chips, until the manager asked if I needed help. I said, “No, I’m good,” and then I left without buying anything. I mean, how am I supposed to choose between “Serenity” and “Tranquility”? They’re basically the same color!
And don’t even get me started on the time I tried to buy a new couch. I spent weeks researching, reading reviews, watching YouTube videos—you name it, I did it. And then, when I finally found the perfect couch, I couldn’t decide if I wanted it in brown or gray. So I didn’t buy either. I just went home and sat on my old, lumpy couch, which is probably older than me at this point.
But here’s the thing. I’m not alone. I have a friend named Dave—well, his name isn’t really Dave, but whatever—and he’s just as bad as I am. Worse, even. He once spent three months trying to decide whether to propose to his girlfriend. Three months! And then, when he finally worked up the courage, she said yes, and they’re happily married now. So, I guess it all worked out in the end.
The Art of Letting Go
So, what’s the solution? How do I stop overthinking every little decision? Honestly, I’m not sure. But I think the first step is admitting you have a problem. And the second step is probably seeking professional help. Or at least talking to a friend about it. Or, you know, just making a decision and living with it.
Take, for example, the time I tried to buy a house. I spent months looking at listings, visiting open houses, and driving my real estate agent crazy. And then, when I finally found a place I liked, I couldn’t decide if I should buy it or not. So I didn’t. And now, I’m still renting, and my landlord just raised the rent again. Thanks a lot, past me.
But, you know what? Maybe overthinking isn’t all bad. Maybe it’s just a part of who I am. Maybe it’s what makes me, me. And if that’s the case, then I guess I’ll just have to learn to live with it. Or, you know, real estate agent tips choosing a better decision-making strategy.
A Tangent: The Time I Tried to Quit Coffee
Speaking of bad decisions, let me tell you about the time I tried to quit coffee. It was about three months ago, and I was feeling kinda run down. So I thought, “Hey, maybe I should cut out caffeine. That’ll make me feel better.” And then I spent the next week in a fog, stumbling around my apartment like a zombie. I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t focus, and I definitely couldn’t function without my morning cup of joe.
So, what did I do? I gave up, of course. I went back to drinking coffee, and I’ve never been happier. I mean, who am I kidding? I’m never gonna quit coffee. It’s a part of who I am. It’s my committment to productivity, my love letter to productivity, my—okay, I’ll stop.
But seriously, folks, the point is, sometimes you just gotta let go. You gotta accept that you’re not perfect, that you’re gonna make bad decisions, and that’s okay. Because at the end of the day, it’s all about learning and growing and becoming a better, more decision-fatigued person.
So, here’s to bad decisions. May we make them with gusto, learn from them with humility, and never, ever spend 36 hours deciding what to have for lunch again.
About the Author
I’m Sarah, a senior magazine editor with more than 20 years of experience. I’ve written for major publications, and I’ve made more bad decisions than I can count. I live in New York, I love coffee, and I’m probably overthinking what to have for dinner right now.
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